as for the whole situation..

I talked to Romona today, had a long talk with her over MSN.  I basically told her that I was disappointed that she was actually going to 'think about' letting Leannah come visit.  I told her it would be nice if we could see her at least ONCE a year.  U.U'  She's still not sure if she wants her to come down with him, because my brother doesn't have a job and doesn't see Leannah but like 4 times a month and she said that he shouldn't be allowed to just take her on vacation when he feels like it, because she is the one that pays for Leannah's stuff and takes care of her mostly.  And I can understand that, I honestly do.  I can imagine what it would be like to be in her place, I wouldn't like it either, but I wouldn't go far as not letting her 'family' see her.  This isn't about my brother anyway and that's what she's making it about.  And it's not a fucking vacation, I mean damn,.. we're her family that she hasn't seen in over a year and she's almost 3 years old now.  It's not like my brother and Leannah are gonna come down here and have a fucking blast, go out and have TONS of fun without Romona.  It's just spending time with the family.  She said "well, i'll be bringing her down in September anyway, you can see her then.."  All I could think was "are you fucking serious?"  Is it so hard to let her come down in August for a week?  ANDDD STILL bring her down in September?  I mean hell, if it's possible that I could see Leannah twice in a year, then i wanna see her as much as possible.  Because honestly, I really don't think my family we'll be seeing much of her in these years to come, maybe once or twice a year.  It's already bad enough that I'm never gonna be as close to her as I was before they moved, and she just has to go and shove it in my face.  So thennn, she said she felt jealous and shit because she wants us to see that Leah loves her Mommy too.  *sigh*  I don't know what to think anymore.  She said I couldn't get mad if she didn't allow him to take her, and I felt like tossing my laptop into the damn wall.  This is really such a selfish thing for her to do.  Seriously, if she doesn't 'allow' her to come visit, I'm going to be pissed off at her for a veryyyy long time.

And it makes me really sad knowing that Leannah's always saying "Aunt Tori" whenever Romona lets her get on webcam, and all she knows me as is that little display picture on the messenger.  Truth is she probably doesn't even remember me now... and it really makes me want to cry...